Courting or Dating, it's your call...
I had occasion recently to speak with a young friend of ours about her
failures at finding a boyfriend let alone a decent guy. She lamented her nearly flawless record of picking "losers".
I was appalled by not only the behaviors of some of her boyfriends,
but even more so by what she would tolerate. All in the name of having a guy
to call her own.
It seems to me that this is an all to common malady in our highly
sexualized society. You can not turn around today, sometimes literally, without bumping up against some sexual reference or imagery. Take for insistence the products being advertised on our public airways. You can have your dinner and learn what is available in the way of enhancements all at the same time. In today's society love equals sex, but sex does not equal love.
An off shoot of these societal norms, is the belief that it is better to experience as many intimate relationships as possible. How else are you to know if you and your current partner are "compatible". Understand this compatibility spoken of is sexual and has nothing to do with true compatibility. This is the Dating model.
The Dating model leads to an individual "experiencing" many partners and many broken relationships. The longer this cycle of failure persists the more it becomes the norm, to the determent of marriage. Once a person establishes that relationships are throw away, wedding vows are just words.
The Courting model allows the perspective couple to get to know each other in a protected and monitored environment, always seeking His guidance. In this way saving physical and emotional intimacy for the spouse to be. Seems to me that this is a much saner model.
The relationship of greatest import is that which we have with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Concentrating on your relationship with Jesus and trusting in Him to provide a marriage partner.
I have counselled our young friend along these lives. She has agreed to read Josh Harris' book I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I will provide the book, Carole and I the council, but its God who provides you a mate. Why accept
anyone else?
Related Resources
Focus on the Family Dating and Courtship
Mary Mohler's Modeling Modesty
Eternal Prespective Ministries on sexual purity
failures at finding a boyfriend let alone a decent guy. She lamented her nearly flawless record of picking "losers".
I was appalled by not only the behaviors of some of her boyfriends,
but even more so by what she would tolerate. All in the name of having a guy
to call her own.
It seems to me that this is an all to common malady in our highly
sexualized society. You can not turn around today, sometimes literally, without bumping up against some sexual reference or imagery. Take for insistence the products being advertised on our public airways. You can have your dinner and learn what is available in the way of enhancements all at the same time. In today's society love equals sex, but sex does not equal love.
An off shoot of these societal norms, is the belief that it is better to experience as many intimate relationships as possible. How else are you to know if you and your current partner are "compatible". Understand this compatibility spoken of is sexual and has nothing to do with true compatibility. This is the Dating model.
The Dating model leads to an individual "experiencing" many partners and many broken relationships. The longer this cycle of failure persists the more it becomes the norm, to the determent of marriage. Once a person establishes that relationships are throw away, wedding vows are just words.
The Courting model allows the perspective couple to get to know each other in a protected and monitored environment, always seeking His guidance. In this way saving physical and emotional intimacy for the spouse to be. Seems to me that this is a much saner model.
The relationship of greatest import is that which we have with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Concentrating on your relationship with Jesus and trusting in Him to provide a marriage partner.
I have counselled our young friend along these lives. She has agreed to read Josh Harris' book I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I will provide the book, Carole and I the council, but its God who provides you a mate. Why accept
anyone else?
Related Resources
Focus on the Family Dating and Courtship
Mary Mohler's Modeling Modesty
Eternal Prespective Ministries on sexual purity
posted by Clyde | 7:46 PM
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